cabin fever outside

Today marks the fourth day I've been cutting down fricken trees. Kinda tired of it. Odd because I used to really enjoy it. These are even the trees that I always enjoyed the most for the sheer spectacle of it. They were in between two houses and just a slight miscalculation or a sudden shift in wind and somebody woulda been finding out if Allstate really was the good hands people. Doind this kind of tree dropping its always the same, chainsaws fire up, neighbors look out their windows and before long you have drawn a small crowd. I guess its morbid curiosity, like Waylon Jennings said "some wanna see you fly, some wanna see you fall". Maybe I'm just being harsh. Maybe its just cool to watch a 50 foot tree fall. I dunno. Havent done it in a while and I was looking forward to it. I watched the first section of the first one fall and then it was all like old times. I would have my ground guy either on a guide rope or have the section tied off to my truck, make my cuts down to where I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt the pull was all it needed to drop and I just turn and walk away. There were 4 clusters of trees here, each one branching off into 2-4 more which then attained their height. I guess it was a total of agout 10-12 drops. I watched the first one and turned my back on the rest. Ego? Depression? Ambivelance? I dunno but I am almost done, just a load of wood to haul home and some yard clean up and its over. The guy has a couple trees on some other property he wants me to do for him. I dont think I want to. Its not fun anymore. We worked out a mutually beneficial deal on these-bank account didnt get at all offended and I got about a thousand dollard worth of really good firewood but honestly, if I were still "in the business" so to speak, I wouldnt have even considered dropping them for less than a couple thousand then we'd have to discuss the wood and cleanup part. Lotta liability and risk. Probably why I initially enjoyed it. Honestly, I had shimmied about 35-40 foot up one or 2 of them and I wasnt very comfortable. Its just not for me anymore. Need an apprentice about 25-26 years old. nah. Im done with this crap. Bad mood today. shouldnt a written at all.