what am i doing here

hmmm. or, more appropriatley should I ask, what are any of us doing here. This promises to be one of the most mind numbing posts I have submitted to date. My mind is whirling around in a flux of clarity and confusion at the same time. I try so hard to not let my mind dwell on the things that plague me. HA! I even had a therapist once who pleaded with me to study no more in the venues of my interest. He said no offense but greater minds than yours have given their lives to understanding these things and never made it.
I guess this is going to be an ongoing discussion here in my little blog, perhaps I can even use it to organize my thoughts and theories and facts and finds. As good a place as any to start would probably be when I first recall realizing something was amiss. Seems funny now-the topics I find myself studying as a result of this initial "discovery". Ah well, perhaps as I write I can find the links that join the concepts? Maybe some reader sometime can?
I was a pretty serious bible student, in fact, it was even my aspiration to become a minister. I read the bible devoutly, being a voracious reader, I read it cover to cover....repeatedly in fact. I started with an old childrens illustrated bible when I was very young, my mother and sister would read it to me before I could even read myself. As a young adult, I recieved as a gift a New American Standard edition study bible. I had no idea at the time there were MANY "translations" of the good book or what that would come to mean to me. I devoured IT cover to cover...taking every word I read at face value, blindly. As time progressed, I became aware of the time honored King James Version and I remember not being particularly thrilled with reading it, the almost archaic wording, the "thees and thous" etc. When asked, I was told it was essentially the same, King James, out of love and respect for the Word of God had merely had it rewritten in a more poetic and beautifying tounge".
THATS when I began to become aware of the many translations. Well. Being me for who I am, wanting a greater understanding, undertook to read as many different translations as I could. Honestly, best I can recall, I have read at least 7-8 "versions" cover to cover and I have a pretty good working knowledge of at least 2-3 more. For what? Only to begin to realize there had been unanswered questions I had in the pit of my gut that NONE of them brought to fullfilment. I believe the first was regarding Melchizadek. Lively old fellow he was. Cursory examination shows mention of him in Hebrews(NT) and Genesis (OT) in both instances, he is HIGHLY esteemed, in fact, Abraham returning from battle paid tribute to him and in the unknown authorship of Hebrews the writer parallels him to Jesus. Pretty important figure wouldnt you say? So who the hell is he? Whered he come from? Whered he go? Howd he achieve this esteemed status? Unanswered. Bugged me. I found MANY such instances, in more serious study, I encountered the historical aspects of problems in scripture. There WAS in fact a reign of Qurinius and he did in fact rule the region BUT....his reign doesnt coincide with either the life of Jesus OR the call for a census as Luke tells us. Hmmm. SAY.... did ya ever wonder???? If Herod ordered the slaughter of the infants, the reason Joseph and Mary fled with the Christ-child, Why wasnt his cousin John the Babtist killed? Whered HE get off to? Mary and her relative Elizabeth (Johns mother) were pregnant at the same time. In Lukes recounting of the events, Mary visited Elizabeth during her pregnancy and Elizabeths child "leapt in her womb" at the presence of the unborn Christ child. How come only one of the four gospels makes mention of pretty damn scary, signifigant, MAJOR event that occured at the time of Jesus' death? I believe its Matthew who tells us " THE DEAD PROPHETS AROSE FROM THEIR GRAVES AND WALKED AROUND TESTIFYING" HOLY SHIT!!!! I think if I'd been around then, I'da taken note of THAT for sure....hey guys, check it out...zombie preachers. There were many other issues I wondered about and so I asked. I asked teachers, preachers, ministers, witnesses, anybody who proffesed to have a clue. I got damn tired of gettin the same answer from every one, every time...."Well son, there are just some things youre gonna have to accept on faith."
How would these MORONS feel if they would take the time to study even just a smidgen of REAL Hebrew or Greek or Arabaic, even Aramaic???? Would they realize that their precious english versions CLEARLY rendered Christ contradicting himself but in fact, the passages in question when studied HONESTLY reveal that Matthew, due to his proffesion wrote in HEBREW whereas the others in that period wrote in Greek and so when in one verse Jesus tells to DO as the Pharisees do but not think like em and yet in another he says DO NOT do as the pharisees do...come to find out...its a teeny, tiny little mark in the Hebrew writing, out of place that causes the contradiction. In fact, it makes perfect sense.
CRAP...I think I'm already getting my mind too wrapped up in confusing stuff...one last thought? Lets finish this on a sinister note shall we? This is the beginnings of some finds that threw me into a tizzy of paranoia. I understand to the uninitiated, this may seem trivial, believe me, its not. Its in fact, the tip of the iceberg.

A SINISTER PLOT UNCOVERRED???
This little gem is gonna require just a bit of foreknowledge and a bit of a stretch in the realm of "conspiracy theory". First, lets establish some timelines and referances. The American Standard Edition Bible has a claim to fame. Namely, it uses direct translation from the oldest known texts. And you thought they all did? HAH! (most are merely "refurbishings" of existing english texts, brought up to date in language usage) So? Why is this relevant? In Leviticus, there occurs an instance where 2 goats are in question. One is sacrificed for sins, the other released to "AZ'az'el". WTF??!!?? Who the hell is THAT? Oh well, never mind. The editors of the bibles, on your behalf, REMOVED that Personal Noun name and replaced it in ALL OTHER later versions. HUH? Why? NOW you get to take a ride on the wild side with me for a moment. There is a HUGE body of works, known as the PSUEDIPIGRAPHA. Whats THAT you may ask. OK, its a shitload of books that didnt make the cut into the canonized Old Testament Bible. SOMEBODY, SOMEWHERE, SOMETIME decided for you and I that those books didnt need to be read. Why is this relevant? They contain some very ancient writings including "The Book of Enoch". Enoch reveals to us an much more indepth version of another story the bible only teases at- Genesis tells us in chapter 6 the sons of God (angels) saw the daughters of the sons of man, that they were beautiful and took them as wifes and had children with them. thats it. end of story(according to Genesis) ENOCH on the other hand, recounts the same tale EXCEPT he tells us EXACTLY what the angels did, what sacred forbidden knowledge they gave to man, how they were punished by God for these misdeeds and....uh huh...yup....no shit....THEIR NAMES!!!! Now, anybody wanna guess what the name of the little rebellious ringleader of angels name was??? anybody? anybody? Yes, you in the front row? VERY GOOD, YESSSS...."AZ'az'el". Why does this make a shit? Think about how Jesus exorcized demons. Even HE asked "What is your NAME?" of the demons he was about to exorcize. Until fairly recently, The Catholic Church trained their priests in the ritual of exorcism and one of the criteria for a succesful exorcism was in fact, identifying the demon. So...next we identify what a "fallen angel" is now? yup again. A demon. Now we gotta ask...well WHO the hell (pun intended) took the NAME of a demon OUT of the bible, and why???.... Seems that great Catholic church who no longer trains for exorcisms took that one out. Damndest thing. Didja know in fact, we have over SIXTY FIVE books of OLD TESTAMENT scripture alone that were edited out of the bible and at least TWENTY that "didnt make the cut" in the NEW TESTAMENT???? Thats just what we actually have managed to find and translate-who knows how many are lost forever? YOU my friend, when you read the Holy Bible are only reading what another man has decided FOR YOU that you should read. Go MUCH further and you find answers thought to be unexplained and unfortunatley, even more questions. shalom.