Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Just for me

This posting is gonna try to be total catharticism. I have a problem and I suspect its becoming bigger and bigger and I dont know what to do about it. Its regarding my bike wreck. I am having nightmares. It started out as one each time I tried to sleep, about 2-3 hours into a good rest, they would come, reliving the accident. Last couple times I tried to sleep, they picked up in frequency to about every 30-90 minutes and they got ugly. Where the first ones were a simple reliving of the ordeal, now when I dream the accident, I dont live through it. I die at various points of impact and I see it in great detail. Its fucking me up somewhat. So much that I'm having second thoughts about buying another bike. Great loss to me.
What I want to try to do is write exactly what I remember of the accident and see if somehow that act vents it from my mind. I dont know what else to do.
It was about 11 o'clock a.m. when I left home and my plan was to just ride east up the cities main drag and at some point, as yet undetermined, cut over to the bypass to that main drag and head to a noon N.A. meeting. San Pedro was the name of the road I headed south on to cut over to Zuni west to route myself to the meeting. The bike had made some unusual noise the day before so I was listening to the 1200cc evolution roar out its song as I went. It was likely just the fact that it was due for its oil change and the previous day I had ridden her pretty hard. I remember shifting into 3rd so without even being 100% certain I know I was going 25-35 miles an hour, thats the speed range for that gear. I saw her almost like it was unreal. She was just coming right out in front of me, we were going to collide and I knew it. I hit the brakes hard as I glanced in my left mirror looking for an escape route. No luck, there was traffic. I would have been run over. It didnt matter, the bike was laying down on its left side. Probably from me instinctively veering left to avoid her and locking up the brakes. She wasnt stopping and honestly I never had the thought or chance to hit my horn. I got off the brakes, I think I was gonna try to "muscle out of it" ( speed out of dangers way) but all it did was place me right dead square in front of her. I remember hitting and the noise. Oh God the NOISE! It was so loud I couldnt believe it. Thats where I kind of blacked out. I have circumstantial evidance that tells me what happened next but so far as actually, really KNOWING??? uh uh. Then I sort of came to again and saw my bike sliding, I think it had just flipped from one side to the other, really dont know. It does all happen in slow motion like they say. I saw pieces flying off my bike that I could identify while they, it and, myself slid down the road. The "circumstantial evidance" I have is my clothing. My helmet, my boots, my gloves. There are deep scrapes on the top of my helmet that run across the top of my head, right to left, with her cars paint in them. I had most certainley cartwheeled over the top of her car, grazing my head along the way.
Then it was done. In one instant flash I knew what had been done couldnt be undone and that I was lying in the middle of the road. I dont know if I lost consciousness or not but then I was on the sidewalk, pulling my sunglasses out of my visor and taking off my gloves and helmet. I tucked my helmet under my head. Some stranger replaced it with a pillow or jacket or something soft. I could immediatly see the swelling in my right foot, even through the thick boot.
In my dreams, sometimes I pulled into traffic and was mangled. Sometimes I kept sliding and went under her car. Sometimes I hit the asphalt and I kinda splatter.
All my biker "cronies" have looked over everything and assure me I did everything right, no way it could have been avoided. Why wont this leave my head? My only serious regret will not be my bike. Not my foot. Not my back or neck. What if I get too scared to ever ride again? Please let this be out of my head now.

Monday, March 24, 2008

out of commision

I really dont know how many read my little blog here, not many Im sure but to all of you I must say a temporary farewell. Friday morning the 21st it was a warm spring day and I took my Harley for a little joyride. As is often the case, it was cut short. Too short. A little old blue haired lady failed to see me and pulled out of a driveway directly into my side. My injuries are still in debate, probable back and neck. Some damn thing or another in my right foot. They think it may be some breaks but cant tell yet. I go to an ortho specialist Wednesday. My bike is likely totalled and I am under a tremendous amount of grief about it. A BRAND NEW 2008 XL 1200 low, anniversary edition. Only 2000 made and I had one. operative word....HAD. Lawyer says I have an open and shut case....I cant tell. bikes gone and I hurt bad is all I know right now. Later.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

alas...sad but true.

OK OK OK. I FULLY understand how my post ( and in fact the reality of it) regarding my inability to orgasm from external stimulation could easily be construed as a manipulation however, to those who have submitted a comment implying that that is a possible scenario I would like to point out one small detail of the situation. I am NOT trolling for sex here. I have absolutely no reason in the world to make a statement with the hopes that some young lady will rise to the challenge and "prove me wrong" or "take me where no other woman has ever been able to". Trust me when I say my life has been, how shall we say...???...promiscous? I have ventured through several life circumstances that lent themselves admirably to a steady diet of partners. I was a musician from Jr. high school until well after high school ( Guitar and vocals), I fell into the drug scene WAY to heavily for nigh on 20 years and I drove a tractor trailer most of my adult life-ALL of which attracted a certain amount of "groupies" to varying degrees, most of which attempted oral sex and with otherwise noted exceptions...failed.
I did NOT 'fess up all the way as to my psychological exploration of this however and I will now do so. I am a dominant in a unique sort of way. During the course of sex-play, I MUST BE in the dominant role. I even have a difficult time cumming on the bottom. (though not impossible) I presume it has to do with my ego/insecurity issues. I'm not positive but it could also be the quality issue, for me at least. I DEEPLY enjoy the intimacy of intercourse and oral sex just seems kinda impersonal. I want to feel a woman's body in submission beneath me- now THAT is a huge turn on. Oh well, further comments always appreciated. Thanks!

Friday, March 7, 2008

HOW THE HELL???

Welcome dear gentle readers (scoff..ahem)
OK. We are now 2 chapters into the fantasy of my friend. Its steaming up a bit now but the best (worst?) is yet to come (cum) (I simply MUST cut out the double entendre's huh? even sickening myself) SO. Heres what I'm a gonna do about my story being out of order (I'm MUCH to nuerotic to leave it as is). Once the exciting climax (OMG....that is SOOOOooooo 'hard' to pass up but now I did kinda vow to stop that nonsense didnt I?) (Am I just a dirty lech or is it a gif that I can derive sexual connotation from the most innocent of statements?...I digress) is completed, I am going to delete all the postings of the story and re-post them in the proper order so they can be read right. Fucking OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)....it simply MUST be "right" or it makes me crazy (ier). Hm. Tidbit of really crazy insight about me? My ex and I had a VERY extensive collection of VHS movies and my neurosis was such that A. They had to be store bought-nothing "home recorded". B. They had to be on bookshelves...if loaned out a marker held their place with the borrowers name on it. And most importantly, C. THEY HAD TO BE IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER!!!! And I mean HAD TO BE!!! I tried. several times. leave one or two out. It would literally wake me up in the middle of the night and I couldnt go back to sleep untill I "fixed them". Thank GOD for medication, counseling and ......NETFLIX lol. more later Ya'll......byeeeeeeeeee

CHAPTER TWO

Chapter 2
It really wasnt unpleasant, lying there in the underbrush. I had scouted out my vantage point to be such that I had a clear view of her driveway. As soon as she got home, I would know. I tingled with anticipation. I was going to fuck the hell out of my little fantasy princess and hopefully fulfill a fantasy for her.
Darkness set in as I realized I had dozed off waiting, guess I wasnt as good at this cloak and dagger stuff as I imagined. Her car was in the driveway and the lights were off in the house. What time was it? I checked my cell phone and saw that it was almost ten pm. Hmmm. I had no clue if it was still on home time zone or if it had changed when I got here. Could be eleven but either way, it was show time.
I made my way to the now familiar back door with my crude burglary tools and carefully checked the door. I heard not a sound and tried the knob-locked. Not a problem. I rigged my jack and blocks and was in in a jiffy. I quietly closed the door behind me and just to be safe, made sure it was locked. MAN, it was dark in this house at night but I felt my way by memory to the upstairs room where I knew she slept, unsuspecting. Each step was an exercize in precision, not knowing if a creaking floorboard might waken my "victim". I was there. Right in the doorway of the room where she lay. I slowly slipped my head around the door jamb and using the minimal moonlight creeping in through the mostly drawn blinds I saw her.
She was dead asleep in the fetal position, about midway across the bed. I slipped around to her backside and continued to creep closer. I know it was her fantasy but I swear I was about to cum I was so thrilled about this escapade. Perhaps it was my excitement that caused me to move to quickly. Maybe it was just how sexy she looked, partially uncovered. It was almost as if she knew what I found to be the sexiest apperall for a woman. T-shirt and panties. Yum. In any event, I did a graceful stumble on some kind of damn shoe that hadnt been there in my earlier dress rehearsal and stubbed my toe on her bed leg. The jar immediatley awoke her with a start. I had no choice but to move as swiftly as I could. My ski mask already pulled down over my face I timed my attack to correlate with her reaction. It was a very good move. My right hand tightened around her entire face as my left arm pinned her down. She was indeed very petite and it was no trouble to hold her down and cover her mouth. She had never heard my voice before but for some stupid reason I felt it appropriate to try to alter my voice. " MAKE ONE FUCKING SOUND AND IT'LL BE YOUR LAST BITCH" I snarled at her. I held her a moment or two longer to let her grasp the situation. This was absolutely sweet. She probably knew it was me but c'mon now, several days early so she couldnt be certain and there was no way in hell I was letting her know.
After I felt her relax, not in comfort but more so in resignation I flipped her onto her back and straddled her so my weight held her down but my hand still covered her mouth. "I'm serious you sexy little bitch, make one dumb move and I'll fuck you up. It just aint worth it- PLAY ALONG- you understand me?? NOD!!!" She nodded that she understood so I grabbed her left arm in my right (free) hand and pushed it up to the corner of her mattress. I was almost afraid of smashing her as I leaned across her for my pre-placed tie. It was there and I quickly knotted it around her wrist. One more warning just to be sure- "I'm gonna uncover your mouth...make one peep and I'll knock your teeth out you understand me?" another nod. I pulled her other arm up and secured it, also knotted quite securely. Now I was gonna plain out ravage my little morsel.
I sat up over her and leaned down to her throat, one hand easily encompassed most of her neck and I felt her trembling. She really wasnt 100% positive it was me!! GOOD! I had no intention of strangling her, I slipped my hand down the front of her t-shirt and reared back hearing a satisfying rip as it shredded off of her small frame. She let out a small, high pitched whimper and in one swift motion I gave her a quick, sharp backhand slap across the cheek not to hard but very much for effect. "WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU???? You think this is some kind of game?? Your pussy aint worth your life bitch-SHUT UP!" That should do it I figured. I smashed my knee between her legs forcing her legs apart, as soon as I could get both hands between her thighs I spread her legs as wide as they could go. Roughly I shoved her panties aside and forced two fingers inside of her. She turned her head to the side,trying hard to give the apperarance of being violated while her dripping wet pussy belied her attempted veil. Time to escalate it one more notch. I pulled a razor sharp double edge fighting knife out of a wrist sheath and showed her the blade glistening in the barely perceptible light. One peep baby and I'll stick you hard, fast and repeatedly, got it? She shood her head quickly and I swear it looked like tears were welling up in her eyes. I dragged the tip of the blade down her tight little body across her firm breasts and down do her panties. Oh YEAH....she was trembling now as I slipped the blade up the leg of her little panties and (carefully) pushed the blade across her quivering mound. I angled the blade up and swiftly drew the blade toward me and nicely severed the crotch of her panties right in two. I replaced the blade in its sheath and grabbed both her ankles. I REALLY woulda loved to suck that pussy untill she came so hard she couldnt move but, this wasnt about that this time. I pushed her legs back almost to where her wrists were secured and pulled my dickout of my fly. Oh my GOD I swear I had no idea this could excite me as much as it did. I know it was her fantasy but I was gonna owe her one....BIG TIME for this. I readied my cock at the opening of her pussy and just flat out slammed it in all the way. She grunted and shifted her ass, probably to accomodate me and frankly, I didnt care. I gave her only a few moments to adapt to my invasiveness and began to slam into her as hard and fast as I could. JESUS! This wasnt going to take long but I wanted to make sure she knew she had been fucked for damn sure. I managed to keep it up for only about 4 or 5 minutes and I filled her cunt with so much hot cum I could feel it squirting out around the base of my cock and oozing around my nuts like white lava.
As soon as my orgasm subsided I drew myself out of her and cupped my fingers under her opening. I wiped my hand up her slit and smeared the cupped handfull of cum I got onto her breasts and across her lips. Suck it up bitch. TASTE ME!!! she shuddered in repulse but I really didnt care. I had totally dominated my sexy little lover. I sat quietly a moment. Then I reached up and untied her right hand. As I stood to leave, I pulled my ski mask up over my eyes. Good night sexy ass. Consider yourself well raped. It was just me-never was really gonna hurt you, you know that now right? She looked at me with the revelation dawning on her of what had just transpired as I walked out of her room. "I trust you can untie the other side while I show myself out?"

Thursday, March 6, 2008

CHAPTER ONE

Well, ok. here it is. The first "chapter" of probably 3 of my little sexual fantasy short story. Its really not to lacivious but reader be warned...the next chapter is already written and awaiting that final approval and once she says its ok...it'll be hare and it gets a bit steamier. Of course, the third installment is gonna be even better so...stay tuned. here goes.

CHAPTER ONE

What an adventure. I was so excited I could barely contain myself. All the way across the country on my Harley to meet a secret lover and I couldnt wait to have her at last in my arms. The premise for the whole meeting was incredibly arousing, let me go back in time a bit and explain how I had gotten to this point.
We were really just harmless internet friends and somehow we had began to escalate the content of our emails into a teasing, flirty content. As time evolved the nature of our friendship, I couldnt help but notice she had very innocously provided me with a couple seemingly innocent pieces of information. First, her and her "signifigant other" had just bought a new home and she sent me the MLS listing number to see her new home. I would assume that was just to show off her new house as she was rather proud of it, justifiably so, it was very nice. Then I noticed on the MLS page it included not only her exact address but even driving directions, right to her front door! What could THIS mean? Probably just that she hadnt realized she was giving such personal information to an unknown person but still, I had to wonder, after all- I am interested in this young lady.
All along in our correspondances, she had made no secret of the fact that her SO spent days at a time out of town on business, leaving her home alone but I noticed around the time she provided me with her address, she started giving me the exact dates that he wouldnt be home. I suppose in retrospect none of this meant much but as I stated before some of our emails had gotten a bit risque and she had allowed as to how one of her sexual fantasies involved being home alone and being raped by an intruder!!! Hmmm....I hadnt been able to resist and had worked questioning her about all this into our emails and she actually admitted that she had fostered the notion herself!! We even went so far as to set up a time when I could show up and not give her the exact date-after all, how shocking is a rape if one is expecting it?
Now the twist in my plan-she had told me her SO would be out of town the 14th thru the 20th and I had to tell her I simply couldnt be there before the 16th and the night of the 17th or 18th, maybe 19th (element of surprise ya know) would be best. Well, here it was the 14th and I had ridden past her house several times. It was a quiet neighborhood and in my favor I had the fact that they had just moved into this neighborhood-nobody knew yet what was normal traffic for their house. I really couldnt park my Harley in her driveway for the next plan I had so I retreated to the motel where I packed an overnight bag with a few "goodies: and called a cab.
He dropped me right at her front door and drove away, I headed to the back door like I knew exactly what I was doing, after all, I was dressed nicely and carrying an expensive leather bag. Last thing I looked like was a criminal. The backdoor was as I expected...a piece of cake to open without even showing a sign of forced entry. My bag had contained only a few items: A small hydraulic jack, handle and a few short lengths of 4 X 4. I used these to spread the door jamb just enough to allow the door to swing open invitingly and sauntered right in.
It was a very nice house and to be honest, I felt more than a bit awkward in someone elses home. I knew enough criminals to know most of their tricks but I certainley wasnt one myself. Her (their) room wasnt hard to locate. Only one with a made up bed big enough for two. I slipped up under the head of the bed and pulled a generic silk tie out of my pocket and firmly attached it to one side of the top rail of the bed where my little princess would soon be sleeping. After securing the other side the same way I quickly confirmed that there was no trace of my having been there nor were my restraints at all visible or likely to fall out into view. I went backout the backdoor and hid my bag in some undergrowth around the perimeter of the back yard where I lay down myself to await the excitement of the evening that was yet to come.....