Just for me

This posting is gonna try to be total catharticism. I have a problem and I suspect its becoming bigger and bigger and I dont know what to do about it. Its regarding my bike wreck. I am having nightmares. It started out as one each time I tried to sleep, about 2-3 hours into a good rest, they would come, reliving the accident. Last couple times I tried to sleep, they picked up in frequency to about every 30-90 minutes and they got ugly. Where the first ones were a simple reliving of the ordeal, now when I dream the accident, I dont live through it. I die at various points of impact and I see it in great detail. Its fucking me up somewhat. So much that I'm having second thoughts about buying another bike. Great loss to me.
What I want to try to do is write exactly what I remember of the accident and see if somehow that act vents it from my mind. I dont know what else to do.
It was about 11 o'clock a.m. when I left home and my plan was to just ride east up the cities main drag and at some point, as yet undetermined, cut over to the bypass to that main drag and head to a noon N.A. meeting. San Pedro was the name of the road I headed south on to cut over to Zuni west to route myself to the meeting. The bike had made some unusual noise the day before so I was listening to the 1200cc evolution roar out its song as I went. It was likely just the fact that it was due for its oil change and the previous day I had ridden her pretty hard. I remember shifting into 3rd so without even being 100% certain I know I was going 25-35 miles an hour, thats the speed range for that gear. I saw her almost like it was unreal. She was just coming right out in front of me, we were going to collide and I knew it. I hit the brakes hard as I glanced in my left mirror looking for an escape route. No luck, there was traffic. I would have been run over. It didnt matter, the bike was laying down on its left side. Probably from me instinctively veering left to avoid her and locking up the brakes. She wasnt stopping and honestly I never had the thought or chance to hit my horn. I got off the brakes, I think I was gonna try to "muscle out of it" ( speed out of dangers way) but all it did was place me right dead square in front of her. I remember hitting and the noise. Oh God the NOISE! It was so loud I couldnt believe it. Thats where I kind of blacked out. I have circumstantial evidance that tells me what happened next but so far as actually, really KNOWING??? uh uh. Then I sort of came to again and saw my bike sliding, I think it had just flipped from one side to the other, really dont know. It does all happen in slow motion like they say. I saw pieces flying off my bike that I could identify while they, it and, myself slid down the road. The "circumstantial evidance" I have is my clothing. My helmet, my boots, my gloves. There are deep scrapes on the top of my helmet that run across the top of my head, right to left, with her cars paint in them. I had most certainley cartwheeled over the top of her car, grazing my head along the way.
Then it was done. In one instant flash I knew what had been done couldnt be undone and that I was lying in the middle of the road. I dont know if I lost consciousness or not but then I was on the sidewalk, pulling my sunglasses out of my visor and taking off my gloves and helmet. I tucked my helmet under my head. Some stranger replaced it with a pillow or jacket or something soft. I could immediatly see the swelling in my right foot, even through the thick boot.
In my dreams, sometimes I pulled into traffic and was mangled. Sometimes I kept sliding and went under her car. Sometimes I hit the asphalt and I kinda splatter.
All my biker "cronies" have looked over everything and assure me I did everything right, no way it could have been avoided. Why wont this leave my head? My only serious regret will not be my bike. Not my foot. Not my back or neck. What if I get too scared to ever ride again? Please let this be out of my head now.